#my brain farted on setup for a bit

[driftingjazzbard]

⚜  Our muses are lost in the woods when they hear ghostly voices/singing (from G from my inbox call)

@whiskeysmulti

Fabulous.

It had been a bit of a freak accident. She didn't even know where the dude had come from, but she'd definitely not wanted to hit him and her bike was now going to be retrieved later. He was carrying a few of her things, given he'd ripped the fuck out of her bag. She frankly hadn't even wanted to ask that but it was an ass of a way to the next town over...and she'd thought she'd known the way.

She'd thought.

The night was too dark, unnaturally. It had been a fairly clear night, and yet now it was practically pitch. And now...

Now there was...

"...Hells. I don't know whether I want you to tell me that's real or not."

[mistfallengw2]

Spoilers from SotO below, first impressions ramble time

Tl;dr: Mixed opinions about story. Hope they won't flunk the landing after setting up neat stuff. Gameplay and rest is all fine. (Exes theory?)

Story was... okay, I guess? 🤷 It's the typical "that part where stuff goes bad before the final part" of other expansions, so it fit my expectations for the most part, so I'm not unhappy. Granted, I wanted a bit more meat cuz I feel a bit starved rn, so now I'm just gonna hope the final release will have as much meaty substance as the amounts of it scattered around this expansion's maps, because it's not bad, just... not as good as they can clearly make it. I'm really hoping it's just teething pain of the new expansion structure and that the next one will be more well-rounded, but honestly? I'm not sure they're gonna catch all threads they've woven so far this far into this expansion. Like, I'm perfectly fine with waiting and the setups are all juicy stuff, but the lack of payoffs or further building on the setups is killing my interest a tad (kryptis civil war is fine, but I want to see more astral ward stuff that was interesting (because I want to tear a bunch of it down along with the old bald blueberry if he says one more shitty thing)). The interesting stuff done in the first part WAS GOOD, and just... Come on! I want to love it even if it wasn't my jam at first (I'm a diehard dragon saga fan), not feel "eh it was okay" when thinking about it :/ Anyway, one interesting thing coming out of this chapter might be the fact that Eparch seems to have genuinely loved his queen, and no one in the audience™ expected that. Maybe in the final update he'll get built up in a more interesting way than he's been so far (not at redeemable levels, but more than... faceless tyrant who is way too much into royal roleplay and vore?), given we've known him only through perspectives that are defiant or more-or-less fearfully devoted. I just hope it's not gonna be another missed chance .-.

Onto the good part, map and meta are more of the first part of Nayos, which is nice for me (I like the aesthetic and vibe, and the fairly-mindless continuous grind of events is good whenever my brain does the funkies). Might need some tuning and fixing in some places, but it's quite enjoyable in the "map you can both grind away or do quickly" kind of way. I love the little houses around the place and I hereby declare that all chonky lil' kryptis are under my protection, and I'll be soon looking into legal adoption. Now to delve into legy armor crafting, playing around with the new weapons and all that, since that and gameplay in general kinda seemed to be the main servings of this patch. That part I'm ready for, and I may have the medium set mostly pre-farmed already oops.

And last, THEORY TIME: Isgarren and Eparch do feel kinda similar, not just for the rig, but specifically in that way of bitter exes who can't even stay in the same realm of existence because the other is too similar to them for comfort. Tell us what you're hiding, you old pair of farts >:T This whole Astral Ward vs Kryptis thing derived from their break-up, fight me about it >:V

[aforrestofstuff]

Chapter 152 Expert Review: The Super-Duper Work From Home Edition!!

I don’t know how to make an intro. I shouldn’t have made that the format for my chapter reviews. I’m working while writing this and some old lady has been on the phone for 10 minutes (so far) telling me about how the undesirables in her neighborhood leave trash everywhere and it’s against company policy to interrupt clients so I’m gonna try and crank this one out before she grows a conscience and hangs up on me.

Legend has it: if you punch Psykos’ watermelon tits, they’ll pop like that one clown bitch from Phoenix Wright.

Murata heard my cry to stop the horny Psychic Sisters covers and decided to make a horny Psychic Cousin-Twice-Removed cover. Which is ironic because I’m pretty sure we haven’t seen Psykos in the manga for like 10 chapters or, in professional terms: 3-5 business years.

She’s hot though. I don’t know how her eyebrows do that. Her brow-bone doubles as her hairline for maximum efficiency!

Local man does the most gaslighting and manipulating and girlbossing in the world by simply just Standing There Menacingly.

I think King’s plot armor is the best thing in the whole series. I hope he never gets found out and this just continues for another ten years because there’s nothing funnier than the cadres shitting themselves over just Some Dude because they think he’s gonna murder everyone with his little Xbox controller hands or something. Help! The white dude with the flannel is gonna fucking end all our shit!

It’s hilarious. He’s a great character. I love him. I want his children. I hope Homeless Emperor goes straight to hell.

Homeless Emperor goes straight to hell.

Putting my face up real close to my computer screen and objectifying the living shit out of Zombieman. I know he’s probably got rocks under his foreskin from tunneling in the ground for 10 straight chapters but that’s a risk I’m willing to take. If I get a bacterial ass infection that nearly kills me, then that’s just what happens baby!! I will die living.

I love the Sanzu River line, although I do think the “flying up to heaven” or whatever one was a bit better. I don’t really know why they changed that but regardless… it’s really funny. Like, I know there’s a chance that this is actually supposed to be a Cool Dramatic moment but I mean… brother you’ve got your dick out and your hand on another man’s throat how am I not supposed to laugh (or get flustered). This is outrageous.

There’s also a chance that, and this is a great interpretation that Kiyoko told me about, Zombieman actually is joking to put Child Emperor at ease. I think that’s actually how we’re supposed to interpret this?? If not, I don’t care; dad joke Zombieman is canon and he always will be. He’s so. He’s so. I want . I want him. He probably tastes like dish soap and smells like the shit sandwich between a horse’s asscheeks but man….

Let’s put all our faith in this One Dude who we’ve never seen fight before and just assume he’s got a major laser death beam for some reason? Saying CE got a brain fart is underestimating it, he straight up had wet brain diarrhea.

This bugs me a bit! Child Emperor definitely has a satellite but doesn’t wanna use it because.. it runs the risk of being hacked? IMO, I think relying on the abilities of one dude, whom you’ve never even seen fight before, is an even bigger risk?? And to top it all off… be hacked by who? The Monster Association is in shambles. All cadres are visibly above ground—fighting or incapacitated,—the leader is also incapacitated(?), and all lower ranks have either died or scattered. The base is in shambles, Tatsumaki spun the earth like some goddamned spaghetti so all electricity has been cut off, and I’m pretty sure even if there was a shit-eating hacker monster or whatever somewhere in the midst of all this with a quintuple monitor setup, they wouldn’t be able to crack shit in the time it’ll take CE to mow down the rest of the combatants above ground.

And even moreso: using the satellite wouldn’t put King at risk. Putting all the weight on his shoulders to eliminate everything above-ground and not even try to lay down suppression fire is a recipe for disaster. A much better plan would’ve been to just use King as a distraction and maybe let him use his whatever hyperbeam (that CE isn’t even sure he has) and then use the satellite as main event to minimize collateral.

Bit of an oversight in my opinion. I think ONE just really needed a reason to get King even deeper in the shit so he had to take some liberties here and have CE make yet another bad “in the moment” decision. It’s not really that big of a deal, but I just think there’s been a lot of missed opportunities to nail home CE’s genius thinking, because so far pretty much all we have to show for his intelligence is his ingenuity. He had to be chosen as leader for a reason. Give him one good decision!! Give him some wisdom!!

Badd canonically has one brain cell ���🥰 fucking stupid dumbass shithead 🥰🥰❤️😩😩 I love him so much 🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️ dumb bitch.

I like how he stopped fighting for a second to ask what was wrong with Black Sperm (there’s a joke to be made about Male Tears here). Even when Badd is about to end this guy’s shit, he’s still so empathetic. 🥰🥰

I also love how canonically everyone thinks he’s dumb. He’s not dumb, but that’s just what you fucking get for working full time from age 14 and (supposedly) failing high school. Imagine being this motherfucker. Beating up monsters during your 30-minute lunch break and then going to Algebra 1 smelling like hotdog water and blood.

He’s out here, in City Z:

No water

No bitches

Still got a fresh concussion from getting his shit rocked at the hands of Garou OnePunchMan

Behind on 87 assignments, an oral exam, and a PowerPoint presentation

After abandoning his little sister to *checks notes* find Garou and end his shit. Somehow.

Oh, and by the way Zenko is still chilling in the hospital

He’s still wearing a tucked-in turtleneck and belt after all this.

He also redid his hair. (You can’t fight crime if you ain’t cute!)

I AM SPEED.

Yeah, so I think Black Sperm’s new form is a speed demon. He just looks fast ok! I think we’re setting up for a Flashy Flash confrontation, since (presumably, idk) he and Saitama are still chilling in the Phantom Zone or whatever. If not, I’d love for Garou to reach peak form and throw Platinum Sperm against the wall 97 times. I’m just so tired of this little rat motherfucker. I mean that lovingly. Black Sperm is a funny fucking character.

In conclusion: the lady on the phone didn’t hang up until my Child Emperor mini-rant. It has been twenty-two minutes. I hate this fucking job.

Oh yeah, and uh. Don’t lie on your resume or else a ten year-old is gonna expect you to murder some of earth’s most powerful motherfuckers with just your bare hands and the laser powers you don’t have. That’s all, thanks.

[tunkyra]

Today, I decided to listen to Distractible for the first time while doing my Microbiology notes. And I didn’t regret one second of it.

I have been watching Markiplier for years on end, and the Three Peens in a Pod was one of the best part of his channel. I think Bob and Wade deserves a shit ton more credits than they are currently receiving, because Mark by himself was entertaining enough, but boy the three of them was powerful enough to send me to Pluto just with the gas I let out as I laugh and fart at the same time.

Honestly, I don’t have a clue why I procrastinated for so long when it comes to listening to Distractible. I’ve always loved to listen to videos while doing other stuffs, so the idea of a podcast is supposed to be as interesting. But something just doesn’t sit right about podcasts to me for some reason. Probably ADHD schticks. But when Mark mentioned a couple times already in his videos that Bob had a rage fit while getting his new refrigerator installed and it was effing beautiful, I knew I had to listen to it sooner or later.

Mark was right. The ‘Bob’s fridge’ episode was a chef kiss kind of perfect. It was as hilarious as the most hilarious thing you’ll ever find on earth. It had drama, conflict, buildup, the climax, the setup…. everything about the episode was world class. I find myself unable to hide my grin throughout the entire episode, I looked like I was plotting a bank heist, but I don’t care. Mark was right, Bob’s rage fit was the most hilarious thing in the world and I live by it every day.

However, that is not my point for this post.

Bob’s fridge episode got me hungry for more, so I listened to another episode called “Supernatural”. Bob went first with his fabricated story titled Seasons Don’t Fear the Reaper, They Fear the Titties and went on how his ‘mother made him obey curfew hours or he would be smothered to death by one hantu tetek’.

Hold up.

Excuse me, what?

Hantu…. tetek?

Am I hearing this right?

FYI, I am born and raised Malaysian. And therefore, I understood exactly what the two words meant. What my brain could not register is that that word was coming from the mouths of three Americans with millions of followers combined and probably did not know my dinky country existed. Am I sure I was listening to Markiplier and his two side chicks? Yah, I sure was.

First thing first, thank you for embracing the not-so-graceful part of the Malaysian culture, one that I have not heard in years. Yes, I validate that that folklore does exist, and I have heard a lot about it. Though, my version was a tiny bit different, as my uncle used to call me the hantu tetek, because as a baby I gave no mercy to my mother when it comes to breastfeeding time. The interpretation is universal, it’s up to you to take from any angle.

So, I’ll tell you what I know about the hantu tetek.

On a typical basis we refer it more as a hantu kopek than a hantu tetek, my guess was because the word tetek is actually a rather vulgar word in Malay. So much so that we prefer to call breasts as buah dada (literally translated as breast fruits lol). Kopek is apparently also used to describe breasts, which is why this term is also used to address this creature. Calling around that t-word is bad enough to be considered as insult and in my personal reference, I also am not comfortable in saying that word a lot. So, for the sake of my sanity, I will address this creature as either hantu kopek or just, it.

Another possible reason of why the name hantu kopek is more familiar is because it was popularised by a locally renowned Hantu Kak Limah universe, which the antagonistic ghost Kak Limah was a hantu kopek herself (or is she? I can’t remember). Majority of my generation (including myself) came to know of this creature thanks to this film series, but the story of it has been lingering in our customs for nobody knows how long. For decades, or maybe centuries, parents had been using this name to scare the children from going back home past dusk, a time where they believed the devilish syaitan starts to roam the horizon.

The practice of scaring the shit out of a child with unnatural stories to coerce them into obedience is common back then, when formal education isn’t a thing. In fact, there is an astronomical amount of ridiculous stories similar to this one, some of which we still follow to this day, for the sake of conserving our beautiful (and terrifying) customs.

Some remarks I would make of Bob’s presentation of the hantu kopek:

Bob : it is a non-fiction.

Me : As much as you freaks wanna believe it exists, it is sadly a fiction. It does not exist, there’s no known encounters with one hantu kopek, even from people who works with supernatural beings for a living. It was made up solely to prevent young men from going back late by dusk.

Bob : it smothers you to death with its humongous bazongas.

Me : Technically yea, but historically accurate hantu kopeks is said to actually kidnap young lads and hid them under their comically schlong honkers.

So that concludes my little knowledge about a crack of the traditional Malay folklore. Anyway, I enjoyed the Distractible podcast so much, and I am sure you will enjoy too. Please check them out and spread the joy!

Distractible is available on everywhere you think you can find podcasts, including Spotify! #notsponsored

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Ego

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Years ago, comic book movies were absolutely, totally afraid to be even a little weird. Raimi carried the weirdness torch for a while thanks to the success of the Spider-Man trilogy, but for some reason he was the only person unafraid to be goofy; even Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, a movie about one of the more fun and campy classical hero teams, was completely and utterly afraid to show a big man in purple armor who eats planets and so instead opted to show us an intergalactic fart cloud. The precedent set by franchises like Blade, X-Men, and Nolan’s Batman films lingered for a long time.

Then along came James Gunn.

Gunn is a man unafraid to be weird, and Guardians of the Galaxy really changed the game in 2014. There’s a gun-toting raccoon, a talking tree, a bald blue cyborg woman, and an alcoholic duck, and the movie is a smash hit critically and financially; there is now no excuse not to put the wierdest stuff from the comics faithfully into film. And for the sequel, Gunn apparently saw fit to bring in one of Marvel’s most bonkers bad guys: Ego, the Living Planet.

Ego is the perfect example of how to adapt something utterly bizarre from the comics, changing some major elements while still staying true to the nature of the character himself. Ego here is Peter Quill’s father, something that isn’t true in the comics, as well as a Celestial, something also not true in the comics… but he is still a sentient planet, and he is still completely and utterly evil.

Actor: Kurt Russell, 80s superstar and the reason Solid Snake exists, plays Ego to perfection. Ego is a character with, well, an ego; he’s selfish, self-centered, and lacking in empathy, but he also needs to come off as charming and friendly or we the audience would see through him immediately. Russell is the exact perfect man for that job; this is a guy who managed to play a character who was mildly transphobic and still have them come off as likable. Russell is also able to switch from affable and charming to scary and furious with ease, which is a big help after the reveal when Ego drops all pretense. Russell just kills it, there’s no other way to put it.

Motivation/Goals: Ego has an almost sympathetic goal, one that, from a certain point of view, makes him come off as a bit sympathetic. The guy was drifting alone in the void for eons and had to piece himself together, so is it any wonder he was horrifically lonely when he was finally able to set out to find life? Of course, that loneliness and isolation led to him developing some really nasty personality traits, and so he decided the best course of action after finding out other intelligent life was “boring” was to plant seeds on every planet, sire a child with powers just like him, and then wipe out all life and turn all the planets in the universe into extensions of himself. It is a plan truly befitting a character with the name “Ego,” and while it is true his motivation is at least a little deserving of sympathy, his goals and how he goes about trying to ameliorate his pain is what makes Ego an irredeemable monster.

Personality: Ego is perhaps one of the most aptly named characters in all of fiction, and he’s also one of the few characters one could make the honest claim that his ego is literally the size of a planet. Ego puts forth this identity of a charming, fatherly figure, happy, affable, jokey… just really sweet and charming. But much like the avatar he uses, it’s all just a mask.

Look at how he talks about what he did to Peter’s mom; he says it with such a wistful, resigned melancholy flavored with this “I did what I had to do” smugness that is a twisted reflection of how one might recall their first date, and then follows it up with a horrifically callous response of “I know that sounds bad.” Ego is such a monstrous, unrepentant sociopath with so little regard for life that is beneath his lofty stature that I just don’t think he really comprehends things like empathy. He is the ultimate psychopathic manchild, an arrogant egotist who hides behind this friendly veneer until the moment things don’t go the way he wants, at which point he starts screaming, ranting, and raving. The fact he is completely and utterly taken aback that Peter would unload multiple shots into him after being told Ego gave his mother a brain tumor is really telling of just what kind of person he really is.

Final Fate: The bomb Groot planted on Ego’s brain goes off, and Ego’s avatar crumbles to dust as the planet begins to blow up, seeing as its brain just got obliterated. The beautiful karma of this moment makes it extra delicious; after putting that tumor on Meredith Quill’s brain, is it not fitting he die after having something planted on his brain?

Best Scene: Ego just really dominates every scene he’s in, but I think the big reveal, where he shows just what a sick and depraved villain with a lack of care for life as he reveals what he did to Meredith Quill, is one of the MCU’s finest scenes.

Best Quote: It took only one single line to cement Ego as the most horrible, evil, disgusting monster in the MCU: “It broke my heart to put that tumor in her head.”

Final Thoughts & Score: Ego is fantastic on so many levels, but one level I think should not be overlooked is on a meta level. As I mentioned, for the longest time silliness and weird concepts were out the door when it came to superhero films. One needs only look at the X-Men franchise to see how dour things were, with their dull black costumes and overwhelmingly miserable and unfun atmospheres. More lighthearted or sillier fare did not go over well, as Iron Man 2 and Green Lantern can attest, and magic was totally absent for a while in the MCU probably because of fears audiences wouldn’t take it seriously. But James Gunn changed all that, and I think Ego definitely played a huge role in cementing that audiences will embrace and love in the weirdest stuff out of comics. Thanks to Ego, I think a lot of other creators became unafraid to let that freak flag fly and put things in movies they might have been too worried to put in before, with the ultimate and best example being Mister Mind joining the DCEU in the end of Shazam! It gives me hope that Tawky Tawny might show up there in a sequel.

On a character level, Ego is without a doubt the most punchable scumbag in the entire MCU, with only Mysterio coming close. The fact he casually admits to killing Peter’s mother and expects him to be okay with it… Can you really blame Peter for immediately unloading his guns into his father? I mean, when faced with a man who is utterly unrepentant in killing a loved one that they also claimed they loved and says they had to do it to further their goals, would you not also have a knee-jerk reaction like that? Yes, I am getting at this being a canon moment that shows Peter’s reaction to Thanos in Infinity War was not a stupid moment, it was a moment that was built up by what he did to Ego. And I think that just adds to Ego even more, because he helped cement a character trait of Peter’s that would lead to one of the most horrific gut punches in cinematic history.

Ego is an easy 10/10, and is one of the MCU’s greatest villains. He’s a perfect “love to hate” character, and he’s also a perfect villain for a story about family. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 has family as a focal point of the story, with the arcs of every single character revolving around the idea that family doesn’t have to be blood ties, it can be with the people who love you and who you’ve bonded with the most. Yondu’s line of “He may’ve been your father, boy, but he wasn’t your daddy” is what really sells it, honestly; Ego is Peter’s biological father, yes, but Yondu raised him and even if he didn’t always do right by him, in the end he showed himself to be a better man and better dad than Ego ever could have hoped to be. I suppose that’s a bit off topic from Ego himself, but I feel like it’s important to note just how deeply thematic he is as a villain, tying into the core message of the story while also letting loose in utter sociopathic villainy.

I think there is a great irony in Ego’s ultimate plan; for all his claims of being lonely and desiring others like him, what exactly does he think would happen if the entire universe was nothing but himself? Would he truly have been satisfied? Perhaps; he was a narcissistic to the highest degree for sure. But I like that there is some ambiguity to things about Ego, I like how there are some things to think about, I like how a villain who has a plan that is not clearly thought out by them yet that they believe is the proper course of action is something of a setup for what Thanos would be.

And really, out of every other villain in the MCU, Ego is most like Thanos. The obvious part is the plan, though only Endgame Thanos really wanted to reshape the universe in his image; still, as I mentioned, their plans are both something they believe is the true and righteous course of action, though Thanos is far more sympathetic in this regard. They also both felt the need to sacrifice loved ones in pursuit of their goals, and they both have incredibly poor relationships with some of their kids. I think the main difference is that Thanos, for all his faults, does have some empathy, he does have some sympathetic traits even if they don’t redeem how much of an awful person he was. Ego has none of that. Ego squanders any sympathy he could have gained by being utterly unrepentant and casual about his misdeeds, which include slaughtering his other children and killing Peter’s mother despite claiming to have loved her dearly. At least Thanos openly wept at what he did to Gamora, at least he felt sadness,  guilt, and regret. Ego just doesn’t care. He did it because whatever he really felt for Meredith, there was only one person he could ever truly love: Himself.

In short, Yondu was right: that guy was a jackass.

[dcarevu]

Batman TAS: Moon of the Wolf

“If it’s a fight you’re looking for, try starting one with me!”

Episode: 43 Robin: No Writer: Len Wein Director: Dick Sebast Animator: Akom Airdate: November 11, 1992 Grade: B

This is perhaps one of the more infamous episodes of Batman TAS, being grouped with episodes like I’ve Got Batman in My Basement on several “worst” lists I’ve seen. But I don’t know, I didn’t think it was that bad the first time I saw it, and I don’t think it’s that bad now. Not a classic episode by any means, but it held my and Char’s attention, giving us some excitement and a pretty cool-looking villain. I can’t speak for everyone, but I think the werewolf-factor may directly affect people’s opinions, even though we’ve seen very similar through Tybrus and Man-Bat. If we can accept a giant cat-like creature created in a laboratory and a human-sized bat that flies around and turns back into a human, why is a werewolf suddenly just too much to believe? Probably because of how the story presents all this, which we will get into in just a second, but I did want to drop the bomb that I like this one, and all the complaints I have are pretty light.

So when the title card drops, we get some weird electric guitar that sounds like no other music the series has played. Think along the lines of The Last Laugh with how foreign that hip hop felt at the time. But now we’re more than 40 episodes in, and we’re so used to the orchestral stuff. On top of the werewolf, a lot of people seem to have a problem with the instrument choice, and I think that the episode could have gotten around it if the electric guitar was slowly inducted, reaching its most intense during the climax. That would have given us a little time to get used to it. Even though I like it, it was jarring to hear right away, right after the theme song we get to see every time.

After the title card, we start out at the Gotham zoo. Umm.. Okay. We’re starting at the zoo again? For the second episode in a row? The zoo really isn’t that interesting of a Batman location in my opinion. If I were writing this show, that would be a last resort setting. Y’know, not only is this the second episode in a row to start at the zoo, but it’s also the second episode in a row that deals with a human-sized creature of the night like this. Was this because of the time of year? Were these originally both planned for an October release? They must have had animals on the brain. Anyway, at the zoo a security guard’s dog starts going a little crazy, and a werewolf pops out from the shrubbery. This werewolf is incredibly awesome-looking, with gross slobber, these glowing eyes, and a very high intimidation factor. The werewolf gives the guard a hard time, but then Batman arrives on the scene, kicking the thing away. Batman does not typically pop up this early without some setup, so jumping into this type of action was a nice change of pace, even if other aspects we have seen recently. Batman fights off the werewolf, but it eventually gets away of course, because we’re still early in the episode. Going back to the Batcave, Batman tells Alfred that he fought a mugger wearing a werewolf mask. Looking at the creature, it’s pretty evident that this is no costume (or at least, no costume that your average mugger would likely be able to afford to run around and get into fights in), but more importantly, I don’t know why Batman doesn’t just assume that the creature is what it is. Bringing up Tyger, Tiger again, he just fought a humanoid-animal. It’s already been established that this kind of thing can happen in this world. Let’s move on from this! Batman notices some wolf fur on his gloves, and he actually ends up testing it, revealing it to be legitimate wolf-fur. But Batman thinks that it could just be an incredibly expensive costume. Look, guys, superheroes get brain-farts too. “What if that guy wasn’t wearing a mask?” Oh, I don’t know, I guess it would be exactly like what you’ve already experienced!

We get to see the identity of the werewolf as it arrives at this little shanty, and it turns out to be some guy named Anthony Romulus. The person in charge of him, forcing him to do his bidding, is Dr Milo, someone we saw in Cat Scratch Fever. He was honestly the last villain I ever expected to see again, and had no memory of him showing up here. Um. Welcome back, Milo? Dr Milo is a smug son-of-a-gun, and is using Anthony to…well, I think he’s just using him for money, as far as I can tell, and for doing his errands and chores (like killing the security guard). I don’t know why he wanted the security guard dead, because the security guard had no idea who he was anyway, but maybe he’s just tying up loose ends. Anthony explains (after turning back into a human) that Batman got in the way of the mission, and Dr Milo arranges a plan to get rid of the caped crusader before trying to deal with anything else. The plan is for Anthony (who is a star-athlete with plenty of money) to announce that he’s doubling up on a donation to a charity if Batman receives the check. We get a little more chatter on this in another scene where Bruce Wayne is shown to be working out with Anthony at the gym. I found this part to be fairly unnecessary, but it was harmless enough. Funny, though, how some of these characters that we’ve never seen before are all of a sudden shown to know Bruce when it’s their episode to become the villain. I like how they handled Two-Face much more, establishing him before the tragic episode. Now knowing about the check, Batman shows up to Anthony’s and is knocked out with gas. Dr Milo takes his utility belt and chains him down in this open area, which is to act like an arena where he will be torn apart by Anthony’s wolf-form (I’d love to know why these criminals always take his belt before taking his mask, by the way). While Batman is still unconscious, we get some exposition on why Anthony is the creature that he is through flashback, and this flashback is a bit confusing. There is a moment where is fakes you out because the flashback Dr. Milo starts narrating, and then it goes back to the present Dr. Milo. This makes it a little harder to follow in one watch, but I think Char and I handled it okay. Anthony’s werewolf origin is okay, but I did find myself questioning a few things. Not necessarily the writers, but the characters. Like, Anthony, why were you so quick to drink that substance which would ultimately transform you? Dr Milo said it hadn’t been tested. It could have immediately killed you. And for what, some gold medals? This puts a bad taste in our mouths over this character because of his willingness to cheat to succeed. He has his face in cereal commercials, being exposed to tons of people around the country and acting as a role-model to many of them, but he’s a filthy, rotten cheater. I also have to question Dr Milo. His plan is insane. Tricking someone to drink a solution that turns them into a werewolf so you can then control them by dangling the antidote in front of their face, getting free work and cash from it? I mean, whatever works for you, but there’s gotta be something a bit more inconspicuous. Throughout this, it’s hard to tell who to cheer for, but I think that at this point, Anthony has learned his lesson. It’s obvious that he finds Dr Milo’s work reprehensible. Dr Milo has absolutely zero redeeming qualities.

Shout out to the director (the show does little Easter eggs like this all the time, keep your eye out!)

Anthony changes into the wolf once the moon comes out (Milo’s scientific explanations never explain how the hell this works) and attacks Milo, throwing him through the wall of the shanty. Damn! Batman, before being attacked, comes to and finds a pin on the ground, using it to pick the locks that are keeping him restrained. I hope Milo provided that on purpose, and for the sake of me liking this episode, that’s what I’m gonna imagine. Otherwise, that is just way too convenient (and allows the writer to dance around Batman actually finding a clever solution). Now free, Batman and Anthony have a fight which moves to a rooftop where they are visible to the Gotham police force, being led by Bullock. It’s a really intense battle, and I couldn’t help but get into it. Oh, I’m aware that this episode is all style and very little substance, but hey, if it works it works. Not every episode needs to make me question morality and life itself. Just give me some dumb action every now and then with an awesome soundtrack and spooky vibes. Unfortunately, the fight comes to a close when Anthony is struck by lightning, and falls into the water below. Pretty stupid way to close out.

Oh, a highlight that I forgot to mention is when Bullock is interrogating the zoo security guard about the missing timberwolves. He pushes the dude right up against the cage, and we can see their jaws snapping, clearly getting agitated by the ruckus. “I want the truth before I decide to feed ya to your furry friends here.” Apparently the term “furry friends” can sound intimidating as hell if it comes with a slick accent like Bullock’s. Not only does Bullock get this moment, but when Batman and Anthony are on top of the roof, Bullock yells at the officers to not fire, and to let Batman handle the situation. This may have been to avoid conflict considering that, well, it’s a scary god damn werewolf which could easily eat all of them if it wanted, but I also like to think that after 40-ish episodes, Bullock develops the tiniest hint of faith in Batman. He’ll probably always be the cocky, sleazy oaf that we’ve known from the start, but it’s nice to see a little bit of development from such an unlikely episode. And that’s not worth nothing.

Oddly, looking back, Batman was never clued in on the entire steroid-situation like we were. I don’t even know if Batman figured out the identity of the werewolf. What an odd feeling. I don’t want to call it an oversight on the writing side of things, but this must be the first time that Batman just didn’t solve the mystery. Huh. Maybe Dr Milo is right, then, and he’ll get away scot-free. Then again, Batman is pretty smart. There are sure to be all kinds of clues lurking within that shanty.

I know I complained a lot, but that’s mostly because the logic was certainly not all there. I don’t grade these episodes based on anything but my enjoyment-level, though, so…

Char’s grade: B

Next time: Day of the Samurai Full episode list here!

[poorquentyn]

Men’s Lives Have Meaning, Part 7: Conclusion

Full series here

A Dance with Dragons begins, appropriately enough, from the point of view of a dragon. 

Before Mance, Varamyr Sixskins had been a lord of sorts. He lived alone in a hall of moss and mud and hewn logs that had once been Haggon’s, attended by his beasts. A dozen villages did him homage in bread and salt and cider, offering him fruit from their orchards and vegetables from their gardens. His meat he got himself. Whenever he desired a woman he sent his shadowcat to stalk her, and whatever girl he’d cast his eye upon would follow meekly to his bed. Some came weeping, aye, but still they came. Varamyr gave them his seed, took a hank of their hair to remember them by, and sent them back. From time to time, some village hero would come with spear in hand to slay the beastling and save a sister or a lover or a daughter. Those he killed, but he never harmed the women. 

That’s what Varamyr was: an archetypal monster-in-a-cave, the classic village dragon that every RPG needs. The Sixskins preyed on all life within a prowl’s reach, his entire life a tribute to domination of others on every possible plane, breaking every border that another being might think to set around themselves. He began feeding on those unlucky “dozen villages” after killing his mentor and eating his fuckin’ heart, and they’ve been living with the monster in the woods ever since. It’s not something anyone ever has to talk about. It’s something that everyone simply knows, out here in this particular stretch of the wild. A fact of life, a splinter in your mind, a fire behind a shadowcat’s eyes, and the fire whispers walk with me...

Varamyr thus combines the ruthless exploitation of your average feudal lord with supervillain powers and a serial killer’s personal life; even the Boltons would have to doff their caps at the pain-racket the skinchanger had going north of the Wall. Mance shoulda killed him and threw his head at the villagers’ feet, but the temptation to use him as a weapon proved too strong. After all, who needs the real Horn of Winter when you have an apocalypse that walks like a man, the closest approximation we get to the nuclear-fired cthuloid maw of a Euron Crowseye POV? Varamyr was It, Pennywise the goddamn dancing clown, for a generation of wildlings across a dozen villages. He was the darkness at the edge of town, feeding off of them and among them at will. He’s there to...what’s the phrase...ah yes: “to give the heroes something to fight.”

It was only natural, then, that they started showing up at his doorstep. Never quite as tall as they thought they were, these heroes, the dragon would sigh every time as he uncoiled and moved towards the door. Never so strong, nor so quick. They must have thought it would feel differently than this, he mused as he approached them. They thought they would be able to hear the songs to be written of their triumph in their ears, rather than their own heart drumming a nervous beat and the shrieks of their companions (those that had made it this far). They thought the gods would guide their hand to strike the beast true, or some such rot, never realizing until it was too late that the gods weren’t home and it was just them and the nightmares. They are (the dragon would always pause to think in the heartbeat before he began bathing in their blood) doing what they think they’re supposed to do, the best thing they know how to do, as far as their cattle brains are concerned. Scared, maybe--certainly--but they were there. They were going to save their lovers, avenge their families, slay the feared and hated Sixskins, or die trying. They were ready, in the name of Story, to dance with dragons. 

The dragon was only too happy to oblige. He killed them as they came, one by one, ultimately putting about as much effort into it as you or I might put into scrubbing dead skin away in the shower. Like the Wild Hares, their songs and screams waft together, blurred, intertwined, one amidst the brittle branches, before slipping up, out, and away, caught on the stiff morning breeze. In a tossed-off paragraph, Varamyr offers us a glimpse of dozens of Hero’s Journeys that he personally short-circuited.

So begins A Dance with Dragons, the book named in tearfully ironic honor of Quentyn Martell’s quest--from the perspective of the abyss into which a hundred such quests stared and wilted. The monster from the cave is dying now, lost and hungry and far from the people he fed upon, fearful that his long red reaper’s bill has finally come due. He whispers his story to us, his bloodshot eyes holding ours but seeing past them; he makes one final attempt to dominate (poor Thistle, who risked her life for him!) and having failed that, is forced to cross the astral threshold to another kind of life entirely.

What makes this chapter not just a nightmare (though it is that, and a peerlessly skin-crawling eldritch nightmare if ever I was jerked awake screaming from one) is the many-layered resonances it has with the book that follows. I’m not talking here about the setup Varamyr’s Prologue does for Jon’s character arc, nor for Bran’s, as both are well-trod territory by now. I’m talking about Quentyn, because I see him and his dead friends in the trail of skeletons outside Varamyr’s lair. A book later, we have been shown (not just told, but shown) that every one of those nameless Not The Heroes whom the skinchanger dispatched with such swift and terrible ease had a story. They had friends, every bit as much as those heroes who succeeded. They ate and slept, yelled and sang, wept and laughed and farted. They lived, they died. They were only just born, they were just here I’m telling you, my boy Quent and those older boys he runs around with! I saw him waving when they went off to fight the monster to get justice for his auntie, he was so scared but trying to be brave, just wave, just wave and you’ll be fine, he’ll be home by nightfall, you’ll see...

But they never come home. We know all this about these Not The Heroes because we spent the book with one of them. GRRM zoomed us all the way in on the bones Bran saw in his dreams, the bones of a “thousand other dreamers” who failed to fly. We got in close enough to realize one wasn’t dead, not yet; he craned his face desperately to us in his dying throes, struggling to form a few words, to tell us (or rather, Missandei) what had happened to him and why. We have danced the dance, and so did Quent. He died dancing.

After the girl was gone, the old knight peeled back the coverlet for one last look at Quentyn Martell’s face, or what remained of it. So much of the prince’s flesh had sloughed away that he could see the skull beneath. His eyes were pools of pus. He should have stayed in Dorne. He should have stayed a frog. Not all men are meant to dance with dragons.

And so, the book that began by drawing us inside the unholy fire burning in a nightmare-shaman’s eyes writes its thesis statement in the pus and blood leaking out of where Quent’s eyes once were. Not everyone had their third eye opened. Some of us...most of us are just humans, and for all our follies and failures and warm little fires, “just humans” can’t contain the deadlights. They eat you up inside. 

It is quite fitting that Barristan Selmy has the last word on Quent’s quest--fitting, moving, and sad at a level I don’t think I’m going to fully appreciate until I’m as old as Barry himself. The white knight, for all his many sins and mistakes, is a decent-hearted old man desperately trying to do some good before he dies. As we see with his squires, he wants to leave a piece of himself behind. Barry did his best to warn Quent, telling him that his adventure was a sham, the Stranger was coming for him, and he should go home while he can. Note the terms on which Quentyn refused this wise advice:

Before he had gone three steps, Quentyn Martell called out to him. “Barristan the Bold, they call you.”

“Some do.” Selmy had won that name when he was ten years old, a new-made squire, yet so vain and proud and foolish that he got it in his head that he could joust with tried and proven knights. So he’d borrowed a warhorse and some plate from Lord Dondarrion’s armory and entered the lists at Blackhaven as a mystery knight. Even the herald laughed. My arms were so thin that when I lowered my lance it was all I could do to keep the point from furrowing the ground. Lord Dondarrion would have been within his rights to pull him off the horse and spank him, but the Prince of Dragonflies had taken pity on the addlepated boy in the ill-fitting armor and accorded him the respect of taking up his challenge. One course was all that it required. Afterward Prince Duncan helped him to his feet and removed his helm. “A boy,” he had proclaimed to the crowd. “A bold boy.” Fifty-three years ago. How many men are still alive who were there at Blackhaven?

“What name do you think they will give me, should I return to Dorne without Daenerys?” Prince Quentyn asked. “Quentyn the Cautious? Quentyn the Craven? Quentyn the Quail?”

Now Barristan is staring down the results: a stinking horrorshow of a corpse, gazing back with condemnation. Your life is a mirage, the dead man whispers past what were once lips. What worth the songs and stories of Barristan the Bold when following them led me here? Quentyn made it to Dany’s bed after all...only to die in it, soaking it in fire and blood. The Windblown promised to save him from such a fate, only to deliver him to it: “Do you want to die abed?” Barry can’t know all of this, of course, but as he gives the book its name, he senses it, all of it. He knows the stories too well not to. As such, the scene is a quietly heartrending portrait of existentialist melancholy, painted in gray as the rain lashes down. The old bury the young, and everyone who was at Blackhaven is gone.

Later on in “The Queen’s Hand,” the mournful tone shifts into bitter irony. The white knight pays a visit to Quent’s companions, imprisoned for killing four Brazen Beasts and letting Dany’s children loose. Drink and the big man have mostly stayed in the background of Quent’s story. One gets the sense that Cletus and Maester Kedry were the core of the group, whereas Drink and the big man are basically sidekicks who never expected to be in charge. To borrow from @racefortheironthrone, it’s as if Gandalf and Aragorn were (permanently) killed off in a literal random encounter two days outta Rivendell, and Pippin and Sam had to take over. Indeed, Archibald Yronwood displays Gamgee-esque devotion in one of the most heartbreaking images of the series, one with the primal pull of a pieta: 

Archibald Yronwood had been cradling his prince’s scorched and smoking body when the Brazen Beasts had found him, as his burned hands could testify. He had used them to beat out the flames that had engulfed Quentyn Martell.

It’s only now, with Quent gone, that these two come to the fore and we get a sense of who they really are. Drink protests too much; it’s pretty clear from his dialogue that what he’s most concerned about is being blamed for this whole ordeal, and is desperately trying to frame Quent’s death as being Dany’s fault. The big man finally has enough of his sanctimonious bullshit, telling him to “shut your bloody mouth before I put my fist in it.” He shrewdly notes that Barry could’ve already let the Shavepate execute them both for killing his men, and so he must want something from them. Barry internally compliments him, and the two of them are able to cut a very significant deal:

“What did Prince Quentyn promise the Tattered Prince in return for all this help?”

He got no answer. Ser Gerris looked at Ser Archibald. Ser Archibald looked at his hands, the floor, the door.

“Pentos,” said Ser Barristan. “He promised him Pentos. Say it. No words of yours can help or harm Prince Quentyn now.”

“Aye,” said Ser Archibald unhappily. “It was Pentos. They made marks on a paper, the two of them.”

There is a chance here. “We still have Windblown in the dungeons. Those feigned deserters.”

“I remember,” said Yronwood. “Hungerford, Straw, that lot. Some of them weren’t so bad for sellswords. Others, well, might be they could stand a bit of dying. What of them?”

“I mean to send them back to the Tattered Prince. And you with them. You will be two amongst thousands. Your presence in the Yunkish camps should pass unnoticed. I want you to deliver a message to the Tattered Prince. Tell him that I sent you, that I speak with the queen’s voice. Tell him that we’ll pay his price if he delivers us our hostages, unharmed and whole.”

Ser Archibald grimaced. “Rags and Tatters is more like to give the two of us to Pretty Meris. He won’t do it.”

“Why not? The task is simple enough.” Compared to stealing dragons. “I once brought the queen’s father out of Duskendale.”

“That was Westeros,” said Gerris Drinkwater.

“This is Meereen.”

“Arch cannot even hold a sword with those hands.”

“He ought not need to. You will have the sellswords with you, unless I mistake my man.”

Gerris Drinkwater pushed back his mop of sun-streaked hair. “Might we have some time to discuss this amongst ourselves?”

“No,” said Selmy.

“I’ll do it,” offered Ser Archibald, “just so long as there’s no bloody boats involved. Drink will do it too.” He grinned. “He don’t know it yet, but he will.”

So...let’s be very clear about what’s being agreed to, here. Barry’s offering to genuinely make good on Quent’s promise of Pentos--something which, let’s be honest, Doran Martell would be very unlikely to do. There is no lack of crystallizing moments in Quentyn’s story which neatly summarize the whole, perfect little twists of the searing deconstructive knife, but this is the filet of the Quentyn tenderloin. The devil won. Quentyn’s story: qui bono? The Tattered Prince. Doran’s out a son, Drink and the big man are out another friend, but the painter-in-red Prince who taught Quent what hell looked like, what he gets is Pentos back. All the trappings of a perfect fantasy quest, my poor boy, but you see, you weren’t the one being empowered by your storyline. Fucking Mephistopheles was! You’re the Dorian Grey portrait in his attic now, and-- *fingers fly to earbud* and I’m being told we have live footage of Tatters’ coronation as Prince-for-life of Pentos...

But what will fully and finally embed Quentyn’s story-within-a-story into the overall pattern of ASOIAF is the fate awaiting his family back home. Tragedy is built in large part on asymmetric information: someone doesn’t know something until it’s far too late, with Romeo and Juliet providing only the most obvious example. In this case, Quentyn’s big sister Arianne thinks he’s still alive, that he succeeded, that he’s coming home with Dany and her dragons. And she is not remotely happy about that. 

“I would sooner it were Quentyn who’d returned.”

“Or so you say,” said Daemon Sand. “Good night, princess."

He bowed to her, and left her standing there. What did he mean by that? Arianne watched him walk away. What sort of sister would I be, if I did not want my brother back? It was true, she had resented Quentyn for all those years that she had thought their father meant to name him as his heir in place of her, but that had turned out to be just a misunderstanding. She was the heir to Dorne, she had her father’s word on that. Quentyn would have his dragon queen, Daenerys.

In Sunspear hung a portrait of the Princess Daenerys who had come to Dorne to marry one of Arianne’s forebears. In her younger days Arianne had spent hours gazing at it, back when she was just a pudgy flat-chested girl on the cusp of maidenhood who prayed every night for the gods to make her pretty. A hundred years ago, Daenerys Targaryen came to Dorne to make a peace. Now another comes to make a war, and my brother will be her king and consort. King Quentyn. Why did that sound so silly?

Almost as silly as Quentyn riding on a dragon. Her brother was an earnest boy, well-behaved and dutiful, but dull. And plain, so plain. The gods had given Arianne the beauty she had prayed for, but Quentyn must have prayed for something else. His head was overlarge and sort of square, his hair the color of dried mud. His shoulders slumped as well, and he was too thick about the middle. He looks too much like Father.

"I love my brother,” said Arianne, though only the moon could hear her. Though if truth be told, she scarcely knew him. Quentyn had been fostered by Lord Anders of House Yronwood, the Bloodroyal, the son of Lord Ormond Yronwood and grandson of Lord Edgar. In his youth her uncle Oberyn had fought a duel with Edgar, had given him a wound that mortified and killed him. Afterward men called him ‘the Red Viper,’ and spoke of poison on his blade. The Yronwoods were an ancient house, proud and powerful. Before the coming of the Rhoynar they had been kings over half of Dorne, with domains that dwarfed those of House Martell. Blood feud and rebellion would surely have followed Lord Edgar’s death, had not her father acted at once. The Red Viper went to Oldtown, thence across to the narrow sea to Lys, though none dared call it exile. And in due time, Quentyn was given to Lord Anders to foster as a sign of trust. That helped to heal the breach between Sunspear and the Yronwoods, but it had opened new ones between Quentyn and the Sand Snakes… and Arianne had always been closer to her cousins than to her distant brother.

“We are still the same blood, though,” she whispered. “Of course I want my brother home. I do.” The wind off the sea was raising gooseprickles all up and down her arms. Arianne pulled her cloak about herself, and went off to seek her bed.

King Quentyn. It still sounded silly.

King Quentyn. Will I need to kneel to him?

I think this resentment towards the brother she barely knows will drive Arianne to bind her family and people’s fortunes to Aegon in hopes of pre-empting “King Quentyn.” The horrible irony is not only that Quent’s already dead, but that he had no interest in being Dany’s consort, nor in one-upping Arianne. That, however, won’t save Doran and Arianne when Dany, having embraced “fire and blood” on the Dothraki Sea, comes for the “mummer’s dragon” and his backers. 

“They were dancing. In my dream. And everywhere the dragons danced the people died.”

“You could have died,” said Arianne again. Her words echoed off the cavern walls. “…died… died … died…”

Enough speculation. Ultimately, the overall point of this and all previous and still-to-come series on ADWD is that this story never stopped being good. The bones are still there. There is still a structure to this song, a rhythm, a dance. The characterization is strong, the worldbuilding is superb, the prose is GRRM’s best yet, and there really is a payoff: it’s Barristan looking into what’s left of Quent’s eyes, knowing mortality, and giving the book its name. 

Dragonfire burns hot and bright, but Yronwood at night is smooth sky and still water. The air snaps clear and perfect into your lungs. There are no dead friends, no adventure to go on nor princess to wed nor dragons to tame, no stories. Just the air, the trees, the water, and you. That’s where I picture Quent. I hope he was thinking of something like that before George finally let him rest. In the end, my boy was glad to go; like I’ve said, he knowingly walked into the fire. Take me home, Stranger! Send me back to Dorne, O winged chariot, burn me clean of accumulated sin and then fly me back to the forest of my youth...

The tiny Naathi scribe looked up at his approach. “Honored ser. The prince is beyond pain now. His Dornish gods have taken him home. See? He smiles.”

...and just like that, he’s gone. The drip is removed, the bereaved notified, the body covered and wheeled out. All that’s left to show he was ever alive is the dull blare of the TV in the hospital room. Ah shit, I left it on! It’s some cheesy fantasy movie from the ‘80s, a dragon and a sword, shit like that. I’ll get it later, after I drop off this poor stiff downstairs. Let it drone on into the empty air where the dead man was. Let the fading echoes of its song slide down his dead ears as I ferry him across the Styx; let ghosts bloom behind his dead eyes as I wheel him into that steel coffin. What’s the harm? What’s one more ghost in a series full of them? Father Mackenzie, wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave (no one was saved), muttering to himself, who takes that sort of story seriously, anyway...

All that’s left in the end is the gravestone, and this is what the stone says:

QUENTYN NYMEROS MARTELL

283-300

HE TRIED

Centuries later, the local children solemnly/excitedly tell each other about the Frog Prince, the ghost haunting that big old gravestone set off way back by itself. The stories, as with Varamyr, all go the same way. One moment, you’re leaning against the stone trying to catch your breath from one of the make-believe games (Dragons and Walkers was always popular, Rose Thorns and the Crowseye fiercely beloved by a few), and the next there’s a boy hiding behind it who wasn’t there before. I am the Frog Prince, he whispers like a decaying orchestra, a cry of grief heard at a great distance through seas of saltwater and grass. I have a quest for you. A bright shining adventure, forever just over the horizon, worth every corpse you step over, or make. It can be yours, everything can be yours, if only you guess my true name. 

If the children choose not to guess, they can walk away, knowing no loss but the certainty (even without turning back to confirm) of his pale pus-colored eyes watching them reproachfully as they go. After all, if no one ever guesses right, he’ll be tied to his quest forever, unable to pass on, trapped in in a cage made of pure uncut diamond-hard Story. The only way he can sleep (perchance not to dream) is to find another vessel for the fire, keep the story going, keep the singers singing, on, on, the show must go on...

But if the children guess wrong, the Frog Prince sucks out their innocence through their brain stems like marrow. What the stories don’t tell, can’t tell, but I can, is what the ghost says to his victims right before he severs their heads. You all guess Quentyn, he sighs as they gaze into the nothingness behind his eyes, but the fire got him. I’m what was left. I keep telling you: my name is Frog. 

[ticket4futball]

Manchester City future means nothing to Arsenal; Arteta planning all the variables

The big story of yesterday obviously doesn’t include The Arsenal, but as always, when you hear a story the likes of the City one and the magnitude of it you start to apply your own thoughts relating to your own club. Arsenal fans from around the world can purchase Arsenal Football Tickets online to enjoy its magnificent performances.

My first thoughts were “is the Champions League now more attainable if the fifth-place gets you in?” Which was shortly followed by “Chris, Arsenal is tenth in the league, the fifth is even an outside bet!”           

Bloody typical that, eh? The season where we may actually have a better chance of getting top four than any thanks to an external factor and we’ve already sh*t the bed.

It shouldn’t matter though. I have no faith that this ruling by UEFA to ban Man City for two seasons will be upheld. Football clubs have too much money, too many high powered lawyers who can spin any situation.

So this will cost City a bit of cash, but it’ll get thrown out by the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) and the effect will be but a few pennies removed from the mega coffers of the Abu Dhabi royal family.

Financial Football doping has been around since Abramovich arrived, clubs have proved they can get away with doing what they want, so that’s that. I can’t believe I’ve seen some City fans complaining that FFP was a design to keep the rich clubs richer. They have literally cheat coded their way to the top of English football. How is that fair to any other team that works within the confines of their budgets?

Anyway, let’s get back to The Arsenal and it’s back to Premier League action at home to Newcastle. Arteta was in front of the assembled press yesterday and he gave an update on the warm winter break in Dubai, as well as team news update ahead of tomorrow’s match. And broadly speaking its good news.

We have Kolasinac and Saka both fit, which means options on the left, as well as Tierney back in March. It means we’ll be able to field a back four of players in their natural positions for the first time in bloody ages and that can only be a good thing.

Those of you hoping to see Pablo Mari will probably be a bit disappointed though. As Arteta pointed out, he’s still technically in his pre-season because of when the Brazilian league starts and finishes, so I doubt he’ll be risked from the off against Newcastle.

But given the different options Arteta has I don’t see that as too much of a problem. Luiz has looked better under Arteta and heck, even Mustafi has looked better, stupid brain-fart moment against Chelski aside. So there are options.

Midfield we have a full complement and there are also options in attack too, with Nelson back to full fitness. I think Arteta has taken a shine to Nelson so it wouldn’t surprise me to see him at least on the bench on Sunday.

In his absence, Martinelli has been picking up goals and assists so I suspect he’s nudged in front of Nelson in the pecking order, but that doesn’t mean the English kid won’t be given chances. I certainly think that will happen in the coming weeks and I reckon we might also see more of him at some stage on Sunday.

Arteta also spoke about Pepe and how he’s adapting to the league. Given that this season is a write off I think it’s kind of ok that he’s taking his time and I personally think we’ve seen enough flashes to suggest he’s going to be one heck of a player. The challenge – as Arteta pointed out yesterday – is that when you come with a big price tag the expectations are lifted massively.

Players adapt at different times. I remember Drogba coming from France and he was a bit of a donkey in the first season. Adebayor was no great shakes as well when he joined. Both from the French league.

But De Bruyne and Salah stepped up straight away. Sometimes it just happens like that. The important thing – again, as Arteta pointed out – is that he’s given the right structure and environment to thrive.

Arteta also mentioned that getting a run of games together as a player is massive and that’s why I am now thinking we might see Pepe tomorrow from the start. It feels like a bit of a hint from the manager. I hope so. I really want him to come good. We all want him to come good.

let’s face it, given the financial outlay we had on him last summer, we kind of need him to come good. We aren’t a club who can just write off debts or players, so we need this transfer to work, which means Arteta knows he needs to give Pepe more game time. Whether that’s at the expense of Martinelli or Lacazette tomorrow remains to be seen.

There were lots that Arteta said yesterday in his pre-match presser yesterday (Tierney, etc), but before I wrap up today I just want to focus on one thing, which was how he said the team was focusing on different setups depending on in-game situations. This is telling, and heartening, for me personally.

Arteta has had to deal with the likes of Burnley and the way they set up or going down to ten men, so the fact that he was happy to be so open about trying adaptable approaches is good to hear.

You could say that most managers might do that, but they don’t communicate that; Emery certainly didn’t communicate that to us. It shows that Arteta is comfortable talking about this publicly and if that’s the case, then it’ll be the case even more so behind closed doors when he speaks to his players.

Football matches have so many variables in them that a team well equipped to deal with those will always be successful. That’s what Arteta’s trying to build and yesterday’s comments were just another example to me of how he’s moving us in the right direction.

Football fans can get Premier League Football Tickets through our trusted online ticketing marketplace. Ticket4football.com is the most reliable source to book Arsenal Football Tickets.

[linuxlife]

Linux Life Episode 56

Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to my ongoing saga of fighting with Linux to get it to do things.  Now I admit my i7 desktop works quite amazingly but this Xeon W3550 is fighting me at every step.

In my previous episodes I explained how I had to use the Linux-ck kernel to get my Broadcom Archer T9E Wi-Fi card working.  Well I decided to try out Lutris see if I could get some games working it was here that I ran into problems.

Now I am not a huge games player but occasionally I like to play the odd game of things.  Now Steam is working quite well with the Xeon however I do occasionally play games that are not fully Linux converted using things like Lutris and Proton.

Now I know I have the Xeon running a dual boot system so if I want to play games I can just load into Windows 10 however as I spend most of my time in Linux nowadays.  Sometimes I just can’t be bothered to wait for the restart and then Windows 10 to load which is slow as hell as this machine doesn’t have an SSD in it.

So if I can get a few games to work it just saves me a lot of faffing about.  Especially as the Xeon seems to take forever to restart.  The BIOS seems incredibly slow and that is even updated to the latest version available for the Z400 of version 3.60.

Anyway I digress using EndeavourOS I noticed it was using the Radeon driver so Vulkan would not work.  I switched up to the AMDGPU-Pro drivers by installing the DKMS modules.

Sure enough I could get VKcube to run but it kept complaining that RADV is not a conformant vulkan implementation.  Now this is the version of the Vulkan driver run by MESA which in turn is used by things like DXVK so Vulkan was not being used by Lutris and Wine.

A bit of an internet search later I discovered that AMD have their own driver called AMDVLK and after a long compile the actual Vulkan drivers now work.

It also turns out I made a mistake the graphics card in the Xeon it the AMD Radeon R9 290X not the 370X which I mentioned before.  I was given it by a friend so it’s my own fault for not checking.

I put it down to heat for this brain fart moment.  The only issue with the R9 290X is that OpenCL is version 1.2 and most programs that use OpenCL need version 2 or higher. So I am not sure if something like Davinci Resolve would work with it.

I actually did try to get Davinci Resolve to work but it refused to see and Open CL drivers.  I had a similar experience on my i7 when using certain drivers using the Nvidia 710.  So I won’t be using Davinci.

Speaking of using the i7 desktop brings me on to my next topic of thing.  I have been playing with.  As if anyone who has read more than one episode of this will know I like playing with emulators.

Well I discovered that MAME since 0.207 has now got a very basic emulation of the SGI Indigo.  Now it was a machine I never got to mess around with so I have always wanted to see what the fascination was about.

The version I had 0.212 so I set about downloading IRIX 5.3 and also got some of the IRIX 6.2.22 ones as well.

So I tried following a guide on the internet but every time I started the machine I could get the IP address reset but I could not get the CDROM to install.

At first I thought this was me being a pillock which would not be the first time I have missed something.  However no matter what I did I could not get the system to see the ISO as a CDROM.

After several failed attempts I threw in the towel.  I was frustrated.  I asked if there was a problem on the Mamedev Twitter account.

After a day of so I was replied to that the CDROM setup in the emulation had been messed up by the guy maintaining it and the code was being reverted in 0.213.

Sure enough a few days later 0.213 was released and after a failed attempt by me using the wrong Indy ROM (I was using indy_4613) I finally used the right ROM (indy_4610) and finally I got the Irix 5.3 software installed.

Now it runs like a snail at the moment and even on my i7 3770k with 32GB of RAM it only achieves running at 15% of the SGI Indigo speed.  However the fact that someone has it even working at some degree is more than most do.

Qemu only has userland privilege which also you to run certain programs but not the full OS.  MAME has got the full OS running, admittedly slowly at the minute which means it's not exceptionally usable at the moment.

But it's a step in the right direction.  Given MAME updates regularly eventually they will manage to get it running at a reasonable speed.  My respect to them and I will keep an eye out on it over the next few releases of MAME.

I can now upgrade to 6.2.30 if I felt up to it but it would run the speed of an asthmatic snail.  To be honest at the moment I am just amazed they have got as far as they have in the small amount of versions they have.

Well that's about enough waffle from me for this episode so until next time ... Take care.

[jwong2000]

This is a hard course. And the weather is always an extreme factor. This year was on par. Temps were 85F. Fortunately, no winds.

For the overview here’s the numbers, then you can jump down to see the pics. For those that want the gory details and blow-by-blow, see below the line. Thanks to Scott, Deanna, and Steve for the Race Pics. We had a great post-race party at Alvin’s rental house. It was very comfy and homey. Amy, Jaime, Gregg and I stayed with Alvin at the house.

Congrats to all the finishers! Well Done. Please share your ride reports too!

Racers Total Time Blake Young 5:28:26 Erick Garcia (1st 70.3!) 5:32:42 Leanne Lowden 6:02:23 Rob Egan 6:06:58 Gregg Doyle 6:12:13 Alvin Hom 6:22:04 Steve Lis 6:24:37 Kali 6:34:03 Deanna Hudgins 6:36:55 Lynda Neuman 7:16:46 Amy Avila 7:21:13 Joe Wong 8:10:01

Here’s the blow-by-blow report.

4:30am. Lynda swings by the rental house and picks us up. Sprinter van gets a sweet parking spot on the corner by the Finish Line.

4:45am. Drop off nutrition at T2 for the run. Parking lot in Town Center. One block from Finish Line. I have a panic attack, cuz I go the rack with my label number, and my stuff isn’t there. This spot also isn’t where I remember dropping off my Run Bag yesterday. Yikes. Lynda and Amy saw me frantically running around looking at bags. Amy found my bag hanging in the spot left it. I just had a huge brain fart yesterday. Whew! I had to find my bag, cuz my shoes, shirt, cooling towel, running bottle, and hat were in there. Anyway, added nutrition (snacks, powders, pills, no liquids, cuz it will bake all day until the Run).

5:15am ish. Board the shuttle bus, right outside T2. 25 minute bus ride 20+ miles to Hurricane, UT, at Sand Hollow Reservoir. It’s still pitch black when we get out of the bus. Clean Transition setup means that the T1 has a couple staging areas. At Swim In, you walk to the racks and pick up your Bike Bag. There is a Changing Area, with sets of folding chairs to change into your bike gear. Then, you drop off the Bike Bag to the volunteers and run to your bike. There is no transition stuff at the bike racks. So, in the morning, we loaded our bike computer and put all the nutrition on the bike. Pump up the tires. Then, load up the Bike Bag with other clothing. The take home story here, is you have to plan each Bag wisely. No mistakes. This race, I did pretty good. I only forgot a white cycling jersey at home. I had a black one with me, but I thought that would be too hot on a hot bike day. I also had a vest in the Bike Bag in case it was still chilly after the swim. Special thanks to Alvin, for letting me borrow his white PTC jersey. Perfect. I borrowed Lynda’s bike pump and pumped up my tires. I chose to swim bare chested under the wetsuit. Then, put on a PTC cycling jersey for the bike, then switch to a light PTC running shirt for the Run.

I took a couple Potty breaks at the swim start / T1 and I was ready to go. Tummy was cooperating. Good news.

6:40am. I slicked up with Body Glide and squeezed into my wetsuit. Dropped off morning bag. Morning bag will be delivered to Town Center, next to T2, later. Put my sweat shirt and pants away. Kept on throw away flip flops on my feet. While I was shimmying in my wetsuit, a friend recognized me and said ‘hi’. A former PTC member, who still follows me on Strava (sorry, forgot your name, buddy). He did good on recognizing me, cuz I was half way in my wetsuit and I wasn’t wearing any PTC gear. Woah. Fans!

6:45am. Pro Athletes start.

7am. Age groupers start. Everyone is lined up by their self seeded swim time. Signs for Under 25 mins. 25-30 minutes. 30-33 minutes. 33-35 min. 35-37 min. This is where I stood. Rolling swim start. 4 athletes at a time, every 5 seconds. Your start time is at the departure gate. Loud beeper every 5 seconds.

Swim: 7:45am ish. I started the Swim. Swim was fine. It was cold water. But, not icy cold. I didn’t jostle with anyone this time. My swim was pretty straight too. Not too many wiggles. I was astonished at my Strava map was straight. 40 minutes was okay. I only took one coughing break. It seemed a little choppy after the 1st turn. I took a gulp of water and had to re-set myself.

T1. Wetsuit strippers were great. I had the timing chip on my right ankle and thought it was stuck inside my wetsuit for a second. I jogged over to the Bike Bag rack and took my bag. I sat down next to Amy, who was on her way out. I heard Scott yelling at Amy on her way. He took my pic.  I sat down, dumped out the bag and looked at everything. I worked from the Head down. It was nice to be able to sit and put on my socks and bike shoes. The cycling jersey was a little troublesome on a wet body, but not too bad. The pockets convenience made up for it.

Bike: Garmin didn’t start until a little outside the first turn, missed about 1/4 mile distance. Course is rollers. I felt fine for the 1st half. I hit some fast downhills. Top speed 43.8 mph. I was feeling pretty good until the Snow Canyon. That just got tough. Alvin passed me just before rolling up to Snow Canyon. I took a potty break and Lynda passed me there. At the top of Snow Canyon, I had to walk it a little bit. When I turned the corner, I got an unusual groin cramp, way up high on my left side. I had to breath in /out hoo/haw and keep pedaling to get through it. On the way down to town, there was fun fast descents. As I was making the last turn, I saw Lynda on the run.

T2: Ditched the bike. Shed the Jersey and put on a light PTC running shirt. I slid on a pair of shorts with pockets over my tri shorts.

Run: I didn’t have any energy left after the run. Zero. It was a walk fest. There were very few people behind me. It was heating up too. I had a full hat and filled it with ice at every aid station. I had a hand water bottle and filled it with ice and water. My gut and butt were barely hanging on. I had one potty stop, not much pee, but what kinda scared me was that I would get really really cold. I was afraid my body was gonna really shut down, so I ran out of there and kept moving. It was slow and steady back to the finish line.

Finish: Deanna saw me after the finish line. Pic. I stumbled over toward the bag pick ups and T2. I ran into Steve and Lorie and their friend Gail. I dropped off a few things and went directly to get my Morning Bag, Bike Bag, Run Bag, and Bike. I knew if I stopped and chatted, I would sit and not ever get up again.

Lynda, Leanne were at Awards and Roll Down.

Post-Party. That fun. Hawaiian BBQ, salads, Apple and Blueberry Pie a la mode! drinks. There were lots of fun stories about each persons race and when we saw each other. Best times together! I slept great that night.

Race Report – Ironman 70.3 St. George UT This is a hard course. And the weather is always an extreme factor. This year was on par.

[stowawayproductions-blog]

Swiss Army Man

Written 10/23/16

It's interesting being twenty-three. I'm right about everything, but what "right" is seems to change by the day. For example, only last week I wrote my review of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. In that review I said something about SVU being "underappreciated", which wasn't a lie - when I wrote those words, in my opinion, they were correct. Since writing that I've been listening more intently to the opinion of SVU and my goodness, everyone watches it! I knew everyone had seen it in hotel rooms or in the background during game night, but everyone watches it like I do, binging it on Hulu or Netflix. I wasn't wrong when I wrote what I wrote, I just hadn't been in the right place to be focusing so closely on the public opinion of that particular ancient network television series. Perhaps if I hadn't written those words I never would have opened my eyes and my perception of "right" on that topic never would have changed. I'm finding it especially interesting these days to watch what I watch, to pay attention to what I pay attention to. In any art form, but let's use film for a change, there are endless possible meanings to be gleaned from every project. Art doesn't become three dimensional in its message until the audience plops all of their baggage on it. I gave The Light Between Oceans one of the worst reviews I've ever written, but what if I had ever lost a child? What if I was once in the army and couldn't connect emotionally because of it? Or, what if any of the other millions of minute moments throughout that film sparked something personal within me. It didn't, so I didn't like it (and the production value didn't make up for it, etc., etc.). My point is, we can never trust our own perception, because very few of us are enlightened enough to know the entire makeup of each of our thoughts and emotions, and something tells me the people who are that enlightened aren't watching much television.

When I watch a film like Swiss Army Man after coming to this conclusion, I feel torn. Did I love it because it was good? Or did I love it because of where I am in my life at this exact moment? There were many red flags. I didn't like the ending. I understand that killing the magic was important, but I didn't think it was important to bring it back. Either keep the magic or don't, but taking it away just to throw in an awkward "real world" scene, then to continue with "oh, never mind, his farts are still fantastical" felt a bit wishy washy. Either make Hank crazy, or make Manny magic, it can't really be both ways. If they were going for an underlying meaning with the post-wilderness section, then more clarity is required. Obscure metaphor is fine as long as the scene can survive without it.

Some of the dialogue felt forced. Many of the conclusions were made crystal clear by the no-nonsense narration of Paul Dano. It worked for the film within itself; this style of interaction was consistent throughout the story which lessened the jarring feeling of having human conditions laid out in front of me like a picture book, but I think it could have been done a little better all the same. What this did accomplish was painting a gross, bizarre setting with a bit of cuteness. Every time an obvious point was made my mouth would curve into a tiny, appreciative smile even as my brain was criticizing the level of transparency. Of course it's hard to look at this dialogue in the usual way, because one half of each conversation was a re-animated dead man with no memory of life. That setup pretty much gives the creators license to do whatever the hell they want, which I'm sure was part of the appeal of this idea.

And oh my god was this idea beautiful. I was seething with jealousy as I watched. I felt like I could pull back the screen and look into a conference room where Daniels and Daniels sit, writing down ideas and just giggling. What an idea! Talk about something fresh, and to pull freshness from a corpse is a feat that I applaud.

Let's talk about that corpse for a second. Hats off to Daniel Radcliffe. What a trooper. He was rolled, dragged, pushed, dropped, and that's all before adding wires and props and CGI, and through all of the absolute ridiculousness he was completely believable. How do you even cast for that role? It's not like you can ask your applicants "what experience do you have playing a sympathetic, re-animated dead guy obsessed with finding love?" But however they found him, this casting choice was pure gold. I loved the voice, I loved the movement, I loved the personality, I loved the humor. A+ to Daniel Radcliffe.

Swiss Army Man brought me joy and so much inspiration, but I'm still hesitant to give all the credit to the film itself. I'm a  twenty-three year old director wannabe who works at a dental lab, writes reviews occasionally, and has made one short film. What if last night I was just in a head space that required inspiration? What if Swiss Army Man could have been any semi decent film and all I needed was something to believe in? Can we ever really trust our judgment of others work if we're constantly plagued by our ever changing mental state? How can any of you trust my judgment if you don't know exactly why I feel that way? All reviewers lay out why someone would see a film as they do, why intelligent human beings might love or hate a film, but I'm always curious as to why that specific reviewer loved that film. What's happened in his life that makes him a huge fan of Marvel, or what's haunting him to cause a tear-down of Tim Burton (we'll talk about the travesty of Tim Burton later...I have many thoughts)? 

Each of us are audience members, whether you're a fifteen year old girl out on a first date going to a movie you barely watch, or a professional film critic sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for an opinion to surface. Those two very different people give a film life. That girl will forever associate that film with puppy love and hormones, and that critic will place whatever emotions he walked into the theater with on his experience no matter how hard he tries to be objective. Swiss Army Man came to me at a time of waiting; waiting for my life to really begin. So whether I like it or not I watched it with a head full of pent up passion and bored frustration, and I will always associate it with my tiny one bedroom in Corvallis, Oregon and a feeling of discontent. Does that mean I can't write a good review? Of course not. But my review is going to be different than someone working at Empire Magazine who saw Swiss Army Man at Sundance surrounded by film people. Neither of us will necessarily be better or worse (well, Empire Magazine dude probably has a journalism degree and years of experience, so that might give him an edge), but both of our ideas are essential because we're coming from completely different perspectives. So please, please read multiple reviews. Read all the reviews. We reviewers are desperate for attention. If you go out and find three more reviews that all say that Swiss Army Man had a disappointing ending, then maybe we can assume that that opinion is "right". If I'm the only one, maybe my mind is just craving a story with a perfect ending and that's made me overly critical.

Rambling psychology aside, Swiss Army Man is a charming, completely unique bromance that I would suggest without hesitation. I would watch it again in any head-space.

[yellowcardigan]

“Remain open to hard questions”: Notes from John Darnielle’s Universal Harvester reading and book signing

Lincoln Hall, Chicago, March 1st, 2017

Scrivener’s note: I took a lot of notes, scribbling as fast as I could in the dark, but dude talks fast. I try to use quotation marks only when I’m sure it’s a direct quote or as close as possible to a direct quote; the rest is close paraphrasing. If you were also there and have any corrections or additions, please get at me.

He introduced himself by saying that he’s been joking about making the other guys in the Mountain Goats refer to him as “Two-Time New York Times Best-Selling Author and National Book Award Nominee John Darnielle,” so that he could hear sentences like “Two-Time New York Times Best-Selling Author and National Book Award Nominee John Darnielle, would you please stop farting in the van?”

There was no moderator or interviewer. It went straight from reading to audience questions, which I thought was going to be a shitshow, but actually it was great. He referenced seeing Ian MacKaye give a talk where he said “I could do a lecture or we could just, you know, get into it” and that he wanted to get into it. He sat on the edge of the stage and people came up one by one to ask questions. Part of what made this setup work, I think, is there was only one microphone. The person had to physically take the mic from JD’s hand and ask their question while he looked into their eyes and waited for the mic to be returned to his hand. Thus people were quicker than the “I have a three-part question and each section has five subsections” thing you often see at Q&As.

As a result, the topics meandered; here I’ve tried to organize them by general theme.

ON WRITING

He starts a new project by looking at his last project and seeing what it lacked. He noticed that Wolf in White Van only barely passes the Bechdel test--here an aside about how the Bechdel test is only one metric and it’s a low bar and he doesn’t deserve applause for clearing it--and he’s proud that Universal Harvester has many scenes of women talking to each other about lots of topics.

There was a lot of discussion about capturing the way people talk in the Midwest--particularly the way “Iowan men talk to each other in the workplace.” He observed that “out here in the Midwest for whatever reason--Lutherans?--people tend to be more guarded.” He described the “heavy quiet way” of farmers at an auction, which he observed when he lived in Iowa. He told a story about one time at said auction, some John Deere miniatures came on the auction block, and no one said anything but everyone could feel the shift in the air because they had all gotten excited. “They were stoked, even if they didn’t know the word ‘stoked;’ no one could miss what was happening.” He did an impression of an Iowan man getting hooked on a conversational bait, how they quietly stand up a bit straighter, that was so true to my experience of stoic Indiana men that my heart pounded a little.

He talked about how he’s tired of book characters that have something special and chosen about them, that he wanted to write a book about ordinary people that don’t have a destiny. “The idea of direction is a shared narrative myth. We’re not going anywhere. We’re going one place: the grave.” He said “I don’t want my characters to sound like MFA students” and then quickly added that there’s nothing wrong with MFA students. Ha.

ON HORROR AS A GENRE

Someone asked if the plot of Universal Harvester will become more clear upon a second reading, if the reader’s questions would be answered. “I’m not trying to tell a throughline story that answers questions, I’m trying to raise questions.” He notes that it’s like therapy, where you go to an uncomfortable place and see how long you can stay there and see that you emerged unharmed.

[This is where my brain started lighting up in several places at once and my enthusiasm for horror started to come into focus. It’s about sitting with the uncomfortable thing! That makes perfect sense! I personally wish we could have stayed in that vein of discussion for like, a full hour.]

He talked about his favorite pieces of horror, including Tod Brown’s 1932 Dracula, and how the single picture from Edison’s Frankenstein, which for years was the only thing to survive of that project, captured his imagination. “Things that don’t survive, of which there are only traces, are my favorite thing.”

He was asked about Christianity and I don’t remember everything he said, but I wrote down: “Many things that happen in horror directly challenge the existence of God” and “Jeremy’s unwillingness to be angry at Lisa is how I think about Jesus and religion.”

ON MOUNTAIN GOATS MUSIC

Someone asked if he’s thought about overlapping subject matter for his songs and his books. He quoted Revelation 3:16, “So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew thee out of my mouth,” saying that people who don’t like the Mountain Goats REALLY don’t like the Mountain Goats, and he wanted people who aren’t into his band to be able to enjoy his books. He told the question-asker, “If I wrote a book based on Tallahassee, you’d buy it, right?” Here the question-asker enthusiastically assented. “You’d buy it because you like the album, and I’d be capitalizing on your goodwill.”

The other members of the band--he continually refers to them as “the dudes”--didn’t know a thing about Universal Harvester until he had a galley. He says they don’t need to read his books because they get enough of his thoughts in the tour van. He also talked about sending demos to the dudes as soon as he has them done; he didn’t always work this way but now he does, because “it’s about trust” and he trusts them now.

He scrolled through his phone to look for snippets of demos he’s recorded and played us a song he wrote for his friend’s RPG character. The song was called Secret Pig. While scrolling, he remarked to himself, “Hill of the Seven Jackals? Sounds pretty good!”

ON SURVIVING:

He referred to his art as “useful” if it helps someone get through a tough time. He rejects the idea that he’s special because his art has been useful, and said “You don’t do that with hammers, and hammers are incredible. You don’t go to the guy who made it and say, ‘it broke everything in the house!’” He added later, “I think of art as labor and not magic.”

Someone told him they were also a survivor of abuse and wanted to know if he had any advice on getting over it. “I don’t think there’s anything you need to get over,” he said, “but if you want to feel better, there are things you can do.” He talked a lot about therapy, how important it’s been for him but how he recognizes that it’s not an option for everyone due to access, cost, etc. The thing about being a survivor is “there’s something in it that means you were elected,” and when you find out that it’s not about you, it’s about the abuser, it makes you both less and more angry. It means you didn’t bring it on yourself, but then again, “why me?”

Talking about therapy and introspection, he said “remain open to hard questions” and if that’s not my favorite summation of my goal of life on this planet in the year 2017 I don’t know what is

MISCELLANEOUS:

He got on the topic of self-promotion and said “it feels humiliating, but that’s narcissism talking--you assume everyone’s been looking at you the whole time. You have to jump up and down and hope that someone’s coming by during the jumping. It never looks as bad as it feels.”

This caramelized garlic tart from Yotam Ottolenghi’s book Plenty is one of his favorite meals; it uses forty cloves of garlic.

“Originality is vastly overrated in metal.”

“There is infinite variety in the mundane. ‘Mundane’ just means worldly.”

Thank you for reading, I hope you found something interesting or useful. 

[ddrkirbyisq]

Mission accomplished.  I finished Contra 3: The Alien Wars (SNES), 1-player mode, on Hard difficulty.  This took a way shorter time than I expected, after spending some time learning through the various levels.  I actually cleared stages 1 and 2 without losing a single life, and almost did the entire thing without any continues!  Unfortunately, I died on the VERY last section (escaping while on the helicopter) as I only had 2 lives and did a silly messup, and didn't have much practice against that boss besides.  (It's not a particularly hard fight, I just brain-farted).  It took me 2 more continues to get through that stage with a decent weapon/setup but it honestly wasn't too hard. Anyways, feeling pretty accomplished, having finished both this and Super Punch Out as well as having finished my Super Metroid RBO run.  The next SNES game I'll play is going to be A Link to the Past.  I've never fully properly played this one (only bits and pieces) so I'm actually extremely excited about it! This is probably not going to be found by anybody relevant, but some assorted tips and tricks on the off-chance that you happen to try playing through Contra 3: GENERAL: - The Crusher missiles (C) are amazing weapons, most of the bosses become exponentially easier if you've got one or two on hand. - Learn to weapon-switch and fire both weapons by spamming X, this increases your DPS by a ton, especially with weapons like the Crusher missiles.  This is a bit awkward to manage with just your thumb, so at many points I actually used a claw grip instead. - Don't be afraid to use bombs for any sections where you think they might help, or where you anticipate losing a life.  You have a lot of lives to throw around, you may as well get the most out of the free bomb you get with each one. - You can stand in place while aiming diagonally by holding R. Level 1: - Pretty easy for the most part, but you need to be surprisingly careful through the initial section.  Move forward very slowly, especially at the parts with the dogs, as if you run forward too fast you'll trigger a bunch of enemies at once.  Don't be afraid to bomb through these parts, you get a TON of bombs in this level. - Stay way back on the first fire section, the fireballs can randomly shoot out pretty far and kill you. - For the boss, spam double C missiles and use your bombs.  Be ready to jump over the small shot that he fires at you. Level 2: - You can hit enemies through barricades using the C missiles (yep, best weapon in the game.....) - The "objective" things have different conditions for "opening up" to be hit.  One of them only opens when you're facing away from it.  One only opens when you let go of fire. - I haven't figured out how to consistently avoid the boss's spinning, but it's not really that big of a deal, you'll at most lose a life or two.  You should feel free to use up your bombs on the boss, you won't need any for a while anyways. Level 3: - This level really requires practice.  The gunner guys in the first half are bound to kill you unless you know ahead of time where they are, so be sure to memorize where they spawn. - The helicopter/drill miniboss thing is annoying to fight without C missiles, but shouldn't be that dangerous, just play it safe.  When it dies, be sure to jump off as soon as you can and keep jumping, you can randomly get snagged and die off of the bottom of the screen. - Right after that, stay to the right side of the screen and shoot diagonally down+left to hit 3 missiles, then move left and jump up, and get ready to collect the C missile drop. - For the boring autoscrolling wall climb section, just climb up as far as possible every time he takes a step, and avoid the missiles.  Don't try to shoot them down, it'll just distract you (and slow the game down). - The wall-mounted drill boss is REALLY annoying, you have to practice this a number of times in order to get a feel for the rhythm of drawing him up and then dodging down.  Definitely watch some videos of this in action, and make sure to climb ALL the way up or down when dodging, as if you don't it will still kill you. - After that, feel free to use a bomb to kill the 3 shooting enemies.  You can kill them without if you take them out one by one, but it's probably safer to just use a bomb. - For the part with all the turrets, remember that the doorways spawn 4 enemies at a time before pausing.  There's one or two parts here where bombing is pretty useful as there are a bunch of turrets. - For the two cyborg boss guys, hopefully you have two C missiles (if not, bomb for more DPS) -- best strategy is just to hang on the ceiling and fire away at them, but try to not be directly above either of them, because they can jump up on the ceiling.  If they do jump up, try to kill them as fast as possible. - For the big guy in the wall, I like to start at the =bottom= of the room and go counter-clockwise.  This gives you enough time to dodge the lasers and be "in time" to catch the rotation of the flame.  You want to be RIGHT BEHIND the flame beam when it starts, otherwise you won't make it around. Level 4: - The trick for the first section is that the bikes that are flat (not tilted) are the ones will drop bombs.  So just stay in the back half of the stage, ignore the shooting ones, and jump over the bombs. - Feel free to use bombs through any section that gives you issues here, like the gray dude miniboss that climbs all over the place.  Better to use a bomb and keep a good weapon than to die and lose it. - The end boss where you're hanging onto the missiles -- use up all your bombs.  If nothing else, you'll kill it that way. Level 5: - I like to start at the top left here, as even if I have no weapons, it's easy to kill that objective right away to get the C missiles. - In general just proceed carefully and take your time.  Don't try to actually cross any of the bridges as they all explode. - For the swirly sand, you need to DOUBLE TAP the L button to spin faster against the spin direction. - Against the boss, you really want to have double Cs if at all possible, it really really counts against this one.  Spam both of them, but be careful not to go too close, as if you do you could accidentally move into it when the sand starts moving. - Again, when the stand starts moving, you need to double-tap the L button to keep up the rotation. - If you lose your weapons, you can probably try to kill the arm thing to pick up another one (??) Level 6: - After the very first miniboss, in the run and gun section with the shooting segments inside the wall, I'd recommend using a bomb, it's easy to die there and it makes things a lot easier. - For the infinitely-spawning-facehuggers boss, use a bomb and try to gun down the pods quickly.  If you gun down the bottom two pods quickly, life will be a lot easier, as you'll only have to worry about dodging/shooting the bugs that jump down from the ceiling (from the back egg).  If you only have the machinegun, use bombs, and hold R to aim diagonally upwards without moving. - For the boss that charges at you, bomb and unload into his face, but as you're dodging all of the falling bullets, be ready to jump over the beam that he shoots.  He shoots it pretty much at the end of all the falling bullets, so don't get caught off guard! - After that you get one C missile -- do NOT lose this. - For the gargoyle boss, just be sure not to die with your c missile selected.  Deaths are fine, using bombs for his first phase is completely ok.  Just do not die with c missile selected.  Keep your weapon!  For his second (teleporting) phase, just make sure you always move after he teleports, it's easy to dodge. - For the boss with the two heads, kill one side's head as fast as possible.  For the other one, if it does the long reaching pattern, you can jump to force it to arc around you.  Otherwise this part shouldn't be that hard.  Feel free to use bombs if you ever get in a tight spot, as you won't really need them that much against the next section. - For the brain boss, learn the "safe spot" trick with the 3-section rock tumbling variation and always aim to get that one.  It lets you easily unload a ton of damage into him safely by crouching with your face right up next to the brain. - If you miss that variation and get one of the adjacent ones, they are both pretty harmless too.  One of them you get surrounded by balls which you just need to shoot down (use a bomb if you have no good weapons).  For the other one you just need to dodge the brain's orbiting projectiles (easy) while shooting.  If you kill all of the projectiles, you don't need to dodge at all. - Obvious, but for the final escape, use your bombs!  Be sure to avoid accidentally jumping down to your death while trying to aim downwards.  If this section of the fight goes long, you'll have to dodge not only his ram attacks, but his left and right arm sweeps as well.

[ddrkirbyisq]

Okay...let's catch up on everything. Visiting Houston Last weekend I visited a good friend in Houston!  It was a really nice trip in many ways for me and I'm really glad that I decided to go.  Just being able to see someone again that I care about really meant a lot to me and I was so happy being able to spend that time with them.  I got really sad at the end and didn't want to leave...I feel like I would definitely go again someday. It was also really nice getting a a 4-day weekend (I took Friday and Monday off), especially since I had been working a bit hard leading up to this time.  Sometimes I get a bit more stressed than I realize and it actually felt nice to not have to worry about so many things anymore.  During the first night of my trip my back actually ended up being pretty sore but I couldn't figure out whether it was because I sat wrong on the plane or something or whether it was just stress manifesting as psychosomatic pain...but either way it was gone after that and I felt really refreshed as a whole. In terms of the trip itself, I feel like no matter what we did it would have been a lot of fun, but I got to see the NASA space center, see the huge rest stop (more like a department store) called Buc-ee's, and of course eat some yummy food while I was there!  I had BBQ, TexMex, this bun thing called a Kolache, good ice cream, and a Cajun crawfish boil, mmm~  And my friend introduced me to an anime that just finished airing called A Place Farther than the Universe (Sora yori mo tooi basho) which I quite liked so far!  I'll probably watch more of that on the train at some point.  But yeah, all the food was really yummy... On a side note, I spent a good amount of time during my plane rides...actually working on music!  But not in the usual sense -- I was working with FamiTracker (a music tracker used for writing NES-style chiptunes) to make a Mega Man-styled track.  It actually works quite well since, well, you don't really need a lot to do chiptune tracking, so it's super portable.  I mean, I already don't use much of anything for my normal music production, but with FamiTracker I don't even need a mouse!  I ended up being able to mostly finish the track with the time I spent during that trip, which was pretty nice. Being out of it This past week I've generally not been on top of my game...I don't really know why, maybe I'm just off, but in multiple aspects of my life I've just been forgetting loads of things or not concentrating or just not making good decisions.  Not really anything to be super concerned about, but more just....it's unfortunate.  Hopefully I will have better luck this next week, but I guess it's also important to remember that in the grand scheme of things these mistakes (mostly) don't matter too much so although it can be good to express my dismay, it's not something I really need to beat myself up over. Finishing Celeste Well, just yesterday I finished the final C-Side level of Celeste.  It's been quite an amazing journey through this game and it really is true what they say about the design leaving no stone unturned.  It really makes me get the feeling like nobody can ever make a game with this same mechanic anymore.  Well, not really, because I know it's already been done, but more like it's really hard to believe that any more could be brought to the table.  I know that's not 100% true, and I'm sure if they really wanted to the developers could come up with another twist or mechanic that they could build another level out of.  But it just =feels= that way, because of how complete everything is.  I guess if there was one thing that felt a bit missing, it was that the C-Sides were fairly short -- mostly it was two or three "warm-up" rooms and then one specific long challenge room that was the brunt of the level.  I think that works too, but I wonder if it would have been more satisfying to have a longer setup, like in the B-Side levels. Anyhow, I'm not going to bother 100%ing Celeste (leave that to all of the super dedicated people), as the things I have left are the golden strawberries (finish each stage without dying...A, B, and C-side...), and the secret 200th strawberry, which I started trying but gave up once I learned that the jump tricks you need to do to get it are really painstaking to nail.  I think that's super cool...but for me, I'm onto other things!  The absence of Celeste will surely leave a gaping hole in my life ("what do I dooo noowwww??!?") but I think next up is supposed to be Finding Paradise!  So we'll finally get to see how that is... System Shock 2 Actually I lied!  Next up wasn't Finding Paradise, but surprise surprise!  I've been building up this itch to play System Shock 2 again and I finally installed it along with all the community mods and patches.  I hope to play co-op with a friend soon, but for now I actually just ended up starting a game on Hard difficulty (OSA character), and I've actually made it quite far -- to the end of hydroponics, actually!  I'm certainly much better at navigating the corridors and objectives in SS2 than I was X years ago when I last played it; that's for sure (to be fair, it was probably well over 10 years ago). I started getting a little bit of the 3D game motion sickness that I tend to get for some games, but it seemed to help when I turned the FOV up slightly and disabled any view or weapon bobbing, so that's quite cool. Stardew Valley We just reached Winter!  As I mentioned earlier, I've been having brain farts left and right so I made some really silly mistakes this last session -_-;  But anyhow, we've reached winter!  We have 2 sheep and a pig now (we just installed heaters in the coop and barn), and we've got a bunch of crops happily growing in the greenhouse.  I think my goal for the start of winter is to ensure that we can still have a steady cashflow coming in...expanding the amount of crops in the greenhouse (I finally got enough iridium ore to make one or two iridium sprinklers), and then maybe starting to plant wild seeds for winter. Other Stuff Spring has definitely made its presence known this past week -- it felt like the seasons changed during my trip to Houston.  My respiratory system is....not pleased, so far. *achoo!* Decadance rehearsals continue...I've finished rehearsals for my first piece and I'll be starting the second one up next week... I skipped dance last weekend since I was in Houston, and skipped this week as well...should be good to go back again next week.